A Philosophy on How to Better Surf Life’s Travails
TLDR: Negativity is a drag — Here are my thoughts on ways to be mindful and particular about what we allow to seep into our realm while remembering to focus on the larger perspective and looking for the lessons in life.
Philosophy!?
My personal philosophy continues to evolve, year by year, month by month, and day by day. Hopefully I am getting smarter, but I’ve been known to revise my philosophy! 🤣 But for now — here it is. 🤷♀️
A Philosophy
on How to Better Surf Life’s Travails?
Have you noticed that people tend to be heavily consumed with world events lately? I have, and sometimes dealing with the influx of depressing or alarming news can be overwhelming.
I was visiting with a good friend yesterday, and our conversation inspired me to share my thoughts on navigating negativity and improving perspective.
As we chatted, the discussion quickly took a turn to the lamentable state of the country, humanity, and the world in general, as presented by the news media.
Am I the only one who feels worn down by the constant onslaught of negativity in the news cycle?
Unfortunately, many news outlets (and people) have become rather pessimistic and cynical in their outlook — especially with what is going on overseas (i.e., US pull-out of Afghanistan).
I get it. There is some level of utility in being generally informed. But more recently, when it comes to investing heavily in every topic on the menu, I find I’m tapped out and unwilling to go there. I want to avoid dwelling in the negativity and angst seemingly generated from ruminating on current events or even watching the nightly news.
Fake News, Hyped News, Noise
During my midtour from Iraq (OIF II), I realized the so-called “news” is biased junk and often awkwardly skewed compared to actual events. (Obtaining a Master’s degree in Strategic Communication confirmed this! 🤣 ) So, I turned off the news and constant drama feeds. I have deliberately avoided the “news” by choice since 2005. I do the same thing with email, social media — and yes, people. I turned off the majority of notifications as well. They are too disruptive for me. 🤷♀️
I do my best to be particular about what I allow to penetrate my “bubble.” I find I am unwilling to expose myself to things that are likely going to bring me down. There are some things that I am unable to deal with at all, such as animal or child neglect/abuse. I’m incapable of going there at the moment (but God bless those who do). I am okay with true crime and serial killers 🤣 — as long as we can fast-forward past the part about the inevitable animal abuse. 😔
Meanwhile, I am finding that as many continue to focus on drama, for whatever reason, quite a few folks feel compelled to share current event videos and links with me. So many seem to become transfixed in prophesying the apocalyptic downfall of America and the world. Ugh. 😑 Why? This onslaught of negativity is such a total turn-off for me. But also, I really dislike interruptions. 🤣 #ADD #OCD
Boundaries. Use them.
I want to clarify that I care deeply about people and things around me as well as the state of affairs worldwide. I have a ton of compassion for helping others and a heart for volunteering and giving back.
However, I finally realized that endlessly wallowing in these sad, chaotic, negative, heartbreaking topics is unproductive an exercise in futility — for ME.
And instead of taking on every project that people toss in my arena and attempting to grapple with every single thing that life throws at me, I am unable, in this moment, to give more than I am already giving.
We are Full-up Here! 🤣
And the universe knows I have given a LOT. But I am already doing all I can do. My plate is full. My cup runneth over. The cobbler’s kids have no shoes! haha. 🤣
For that reason, I decided a while back that until I can fulfill some of the existing promises I have made to people already, I am unable to take on any other projects. So, if someone has a project they would like for me to look at, drop me a line, and I will do my best to consider whatever the proposal may be.
But full disclosure — I need to clear up my due-outs and also rectify some of the technological woes I am currently experiencing.
This proclamation includes jumping down the rabbit hole of becoming deeply invested in other people’s daily drama and the never-ending negativity of the news cycle. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my rodeo, not my bull. Et cetera. But yes, let’s please continue to define and employ healthy boundaries! 💗
Perspective. Get some!
So, is there anything I can do to change what’s going on? Possibly, but that’s rhetorical. 😆 (Those who know me know that I am a tireless advocate for the downtrodden and other worthy causes.) So, can I make a difference? Sure … I could probably donate my time or money or spread awareness about a cause (more than I already have!). But if I have to embed myself in negativity, I’m going to be unable to participate in that. And even if I can change something on a small level, the overarching chaos will still be there — Because it’s always been there. And that is OKAY!
So the best we can do is to change how we react to these things. Although we are likely unable to effect change at a macro level, we can change ourselves and our individual perspectives.
Beware — Words Have Power.
And yeah — when I hear doom and gloom and predictions of chaos and a bleak, miserable future — Maybe I’m naïve, but I am unwilling to envision that for myself.
I’m also reluctant to own that negativity. Much like how people talk about “**MY** AILMENT” or “**MY** illness” — I refuse to acknowledge those things either. Why would I take ownership of something I want to avoid? 🤔
Easy Life or Meaningful Life?
Sing Along—“We Didn’t Start the Fire” 🎶
Anyway … I reached out to my friend yesterday and asked how their week was going (as I often do)?… And I was a bit bewildered because of their glum and depressing outlook. Talk about disheartening — for them and me. 😔
So, I replied that 200 years ago, Great Britain was still a superpower and that we didn’t start the fire (with a nod to Billy Joel). Chaos, drama, and turbulence have been a constant — likely as long as people have been documenting history. So in many ways, chaos is the status quo.
Then I mentioned that at least we aren’t in the dark ages. (It might be the dim ages 💡 lol! But we are way better off now than we were then.) Even if there is some apocalyptic event (which many prophesy lately), we will still likely be better off than we were back in the day. Our institutional knowledge alone is invaluable.
That’s merely my take on this. I suspect the mileage of others may vary. 😊
And then, after reflecting a bit more, I shared this comment (below) with my friend.
I thought perhaps others might find some small bit of utility in what I wrote, so I am sharing in case these words give anyone the little perspective boost that many have been needing lately. 🌺
I was thinking about our conversation yesterday, and the thought occurred to me that a part of me loves how life can be incredibly hard. I revel in the challenges, and more recently, I’ve been looking for the lessons we can glean from the obstacles we face in life. That’s how we progress. Until we learn — we’re just going to have to keep repeating those lessons.
“Smooth seas don’t make for a good sailor.” My very first instructor pilot told us that when we complained about the turbulence of flying helicopters over the hot Alabama skies. ⛵️ 🏆 🚁 ⛅️
My friend’s response: You are so right. Bruce Lee said, “Do not pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.” You definitely fit that bill.
I said: Thank you! I think? Haha! Bruce Lee and so many others have that right. I have yet to pray for a hard life. Who would? But I am definitely desirous of learning and bettering myself however possible, even if my life looks different from that of others.
An easy life sounds almost dull. Yes, I do tend to make things way harder than they need to be and sometimes I wish things were more manageable, but I finally realized that the waves will always come. But can I be a better swimmer? Maybe I could even learn how to surf? When we master what is inside versus brangling with the outside — that is how we win; how we achieve tranquility; how we reach our full potential. Meditation anyone? 😳
Life can be like a video game. Few, if any, want to play an easy game with zero challenges. But, can we take a moment and be willing to notice that the more challenging the game, the more enjoyment and knowledge we derive? And rage quitting is a poor choice unless we want to repeat lessons and start over from scratch. That totally defeats the purpose.
I feel the need to blog about this now! Haha! 🤣
Look for the Lessons
I keep reminding myself — we are here for a reason, so trust in that. Whatever the reason is unimportant. What **is** important is taking advantage of the available lessons. (I suspect the reasons will be made clear in the great mission debrief.) 😎
Meanwhile, I made the graphic at the top of the page to help describe my philosophy on what I put out there and what I allow in, and how I shift perspective when life gets overwhelming.
I do sometimes have a hard time remaining positive; however, doing so is much more difficult when so many around us seem to be glued to the soap opera of current events and mired in a pessimistic outlook. Avoid being that guy!
How to Rise above Life’s Foibles and Mitigate Negativity?
👉👉👉
- Be particular
- Guard your heart
- Remember to lead with love and humility
- Choose to invest in the positive when possible, and
- When facing obstacles, look for the bigger perspective and inherent lessons
That’s how we transmute negative into positive. 🎖
Note: This is only my outlook; please avoid feeling like one must agree with me. Disagreement is okay. I’m sharing this only in case my outlook helps someone else shift their perspective.
I encourage people to become involved and help out where ever possible and whenever they can! I continue to help out extensively, but I’m unable to take on anything else for now. 💗 🌺
Life is like an Ocean Quote (from above graphic)
Life is like an ocean. We are but one drop in the sea, and yet we are the whole sea.
Much like the tides, what we send out eventually returns to us in the same form. We get what we give, and we are what we choose to see in the world.
The waves are ever-present, and sometimes they are gentle while other times they are rough. But through adversity, we learn to become better swimmers, and eventually, we can master surfing the most challenging waves.
The ocean remains the same — the only thing that changes is how we perceive our relationship in context to the whole.
— Lori D. Gaff. (2021)
© Copyright Lori D. Gaff — 2021. All content property of Lori D. Gaff. All rights reserved. Request permission.